Life as a Servant: God's Plans are Bigger and Better than my own..!

When I made a decision to go into career missions I laid down my desire to get married down at the throne of Christ. I knew that taking this path would make it very hard to meet a guy and get married. My focus for the past 8 years has been on serving God completely with my life. I was content where God had me and looked forward to my future ministry in Argentina. My life was completely full watching my nieces, studying at Multnomah and doing building up a support team for my ministry in Argentina.

It was in the midst of this stage of my life that God brought a man into my life. I still am amazed at how He brought it all together. I was looking up people from my past on facebook one day and ran across Matthew’s brother. Who is Matthew you may be asking… well... he is a guy I dated in Junior High. I had tried to find Matthew multiple times throughout the years but his name never came up. But on this particular day I found him and sent him a message; soon after we started talking on facebook and decided to get together to catch up. Of course being as I was I invited him to come visit me while I was working. J I didn’t realize that this lunch date would change my life.

Matthew and I hit it off that very first day; so much so that my first reaction was to run in fear. Remember it had been over 8 years since I even thought about dating a guy and here was a guy that had many of the qualities I was looking for: a love for God, a servant’s heart, a desire for missions, a passion for people, a love for his family, complete honesty and so much more. The more time I spent with him the more I liked him and found myself drawn to him. From the very beginning he encouraged me in my desire to return to Argentina and often prayed for me whenever I had to speak in front of a group. By the time he asked permission to actively pursue me I was already a goner..!

Matthew, Shane and I on our first outting to Snoqualmie Falls

Matthew didn't realize my love for Snoqualmie Falls until later on... but this is the place I always go to spend time alone with God and get direction for my future... Crazy enough it is also where Matthew likes to go :)

All Dressed up for a wedding..!

Of course the road was not an easy one. Poor Matthew had to put up with my wavering emotions. My fears came up constantly as I tried to understand what God was doing in my life. I had finally came to terms that I was going to be a single missionary overseas and I didn’t know what to do with a husband and a son with those plans.

During this time of wavering emotions I went on two separate trips. My first trip was to Florida for training and a time of encouragement. I left for the trip thinking I would most likely come home and break things off with Matthew. But God had something else in store for me. Through conversations with various people, including my boss, I came home with a peace that I was right where God wanted me to be. God was in control of the future and He would work things out for me. I came home with the realization that even if God changed my plans in regards to missions in Argentina that is okay because God is God and I have to obey wherever He leads me. But I also came home with peace that I could have both Matthew and Argentina. I didn’t have to choose between the two but trust God and follow Him one step at a time.

The whole team of missionaries who came together for a week..!

I was able to go a little crazy as I worked through the changes God was bringing in my life... no one thought I would really run through the fountain but man was it fun.. I also got to see an aligator.. I was in heaven for a couple days..!

Of course I also tooks lots of time to pray and think as well as share my ministry at a local church. God was really speaking to me on this trip..!

My second trip was to Palm Springs where I spent three days completely alone with God. This trip came after a breakdown as I once again struggled with the changes in my life. I was overwhelmed with life in general; I had to make some decisions in regards to school, was losing my job, and fearful of the future. I suppose one thing I should mention is that because of my past I had a lot of difficulty trusting men. I went to Palm Springs seeking God’s direction for my future; especially in regards to my relationship with Matthew. This getaway was just what I needed… I was able to take a walk every morning enjoying the beauty of God’s creation and singing praise to God. I was able to spend the afternoon studying God’s Word outside; including the new Bible study I had just started on “Discerning the voice of God”. I spent the evenings relaxing inside the condo praying and seeking God.

One night in particular I remember praying out to God and asking Him if I could trust Matthew with my heart and my future. It was after that prayer that I opened my Bible to the book of Psalm and read Psalm 19-20. Wow, God spoke directly to my prayer request… here I crying out to God and asking Him to help me trust Matthew and I came away realizing that I had to put my trust in God. I serve a God who loves me and knows the plans He has for me. I serve a God who is worthy of my praise and trust. I came home from Palm Springs refreshed and ready to trust God and this new path He was leading me down.